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Introduction Children - meaning or flowers of life

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1 . Types of personal well-being

The experience of well-being (or trouble) is influenced by various aspects of a person’s life, many features of a person’s relationship to himself and the world around him are merged. The well-being of an individual consists of a number of components.

Social well-being- this is a person’s satisfaction with his social status and the current state of the society to which the person relates himself. This is satisfaction with interpersonal relationships, status in a microsocial environment, as well as a sense of community (in the understanding of A. Adler), etc.

Spiritual well-being- a sense of involvement in the spiritual culture of society, awareness of the opportunity to join the riches of spiritual culture (to satisfy spiritual hunger), advancement in understanding the essence and purpose of man; awareness and experience of the meaning of your life. The core of the meaning of life is often faith: faith in the absolute, faith in oneself, in the success of one's own business or “our cause”. Approaching what you believe in, making efforts to achieve what is valuable, meaningful, fill life with meaning. In many ways, spiritual well-being determines the ability to freely adhere to one's faith.

Physical (bodily) well-being- good physical health, bodily comfort, a sense of health, a physical tone satisfying the individual.

Material well-being- satisfaction with the material side of their existence (housing, food, recreation ...), the completeness of their security, the stability of material wealth.

Psychological well-being (spiritual comfort) - coherence of mental processes and functions, a sense of integrity, inner balance. Psychological well-being is more stable with the harmony of personality.

All of these components of well-being are closely interrelated and affect each other. The attribution of many phenomena to one or another component of well-being is largely arbitrary. For example, a sense of community, awareness and experience of the meaning of life may well be ranked as factors creating mental comfort, and not just social or spiritual well-being.

The psychological well-being of the individual.The psychological well-being (mental comfort) of an individual has its own rather complicated structure. In addition, psychological well-being summarizes the actual success of behavior and activities, satisfaction with interpersonal relationships, and communication.

Cognitive componentpsychological well-being arises with a holistic, relatively consistent picture of the world in the subject, understanding of the current life situation. Contradictory information, perception of the situation as uncertain, as well as informational or sensory deprivation introduces dissonance into the cognitive sphere.

Emotional componentpsychological well-being appears as an experience uniting the feelings that are due to the success (or failure) of the subject in certain areas of his activity.

Well-being depends on the presence of clear goals, the success of the implementation of action plans and behavior, the availability of resources and conditions for achieving goals. Adversity appears in a situation of frustration, with a monotony of executive behavior and other similar conditions.

Well-being is created by satisfying interpersonal relationships, the ability to communicate and receive positive emotions from this, to satisfy the need for emotional warmth. Social isolation (deprivation), tension in significant interpersonal relationships destroys well-being.

Subjective well-being is a generalized and relatively stable experience that is of particular importance to the individual. It is it that to a large extent determines the characteristics of the dominant mental state: a favorable state - contributing to the coordinated flow of mental processes, successful behavior and activity that supports mental and physical health, or, conversely, unfavorable.

To develop psycho-hygienic measures, it is important to know which environmental factors have the greatest impact on emotional comfort, reduce it and thereby reduce feelings of well-being. peace of mind emotional well-being

2 . Factors Affecting Well-Being

Human well-being depends on many factors, among which are social, physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual.

Social factors

People are social beings, and the social structure of any society significantly affects our well-being. The level of well-being can be high only when a person has the opportunity for self-realization, when he is guaranteed good housing conditions, education and medical care.

An important factor affecting well-being, of course, is the ability to build their relationships with other people. We need to learn how to create a friendly, warm atmosphere around us. We must also be confident enough if we count on reciprocal respect.

Physical factors

Physical factors underlie our well-being. The most important among them are heredity, the state of the environment, food quality and physical activity.

Recent data show a significant effect of heredity on almost all aspects of our physical and mental health. But this does not give us the right to relieve ourselves of responsibility for our own health. On the contrary, the presence of a predisposition to certain diseases, for example, to alcoholism or diabetes, should encourage us to lead a lifestyle that will reduce the likelihood of developing the disease.

The state of the environment directly affects people's well-being. Even the healthiest living habits cannot fully compensate for the effects of polluted air or water. But each of us is responsible for the environment in which we live. Persuade your friends, encourage politicians and industry corporations to take care of maintaining a healthy environment.

Intellectual factor

You can not lead a healthy lifestyle without knowing what it is. And although knowledge in itself does not induce correct behavior, familiarity with the principles of a healthy lifestyle helps us make the right choice. One of the goals of this manual is to give you relevant knowledge.

Professional success

A person's career can have a tremendous impact on his well-being. Satisfying work allows a person to self-actualize, strengthens self-esteem, increases income, provides social guarantees. Work in an inappropriate area for a given person is a source of stress, depression, decline and, therefore, can have a devastating effect on his body.

Emotional factor

Despite a certain genetic determinism of personal qualities, each of us decides how to cope with life's difficulties. Whether we learn to courageously overcome them or take alcohol as assistants is ultimately on our conscience.

Certain attitudes contribute to well-being. The main among them is the awareness of the need to manage your life (not counting on full control of all life circumstances, maintaining a positive outlook on life and improving health.

Spiritual factor

Spirituality is an important component of well-being. Not perceiving yourself as part of the universe, not reflecting on your destiny, not feeling responsibility for the well-being of other people, you are unlikely to be able to be prosperous yourself.

1. Describe from various sources: dictionaries, encyclopedias, scientific and educational literature, the concepts of “social well-being” and “social well-being”. Which of the concepts you have considered most accurately gives definitions? Argument your position.

2. Describe the concept of social well-being from the standpoint of economic and ethical components. What factors of social well-being, from your point of view, are priority. Argument your opinion.

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Subjective psychological relations of the individual to the world around him. The essence of the concept of "personality" in social psychology. Its structure and substructures. Views on the socio-psychological problems of personality in representatives of different schools and directions.

Social well-being is a person’s satisfaction with his social status and the current state of the society to which he belongs. It is also satisfaction with interpersonal relationships and status in a microsocial environment, a sense of community (as A. Adler understands), etc.

Spiritual well-being - a feeling of involvement in the spiritual culture of society, awareness of the opportunity to join the riches of spiritual culture (to satisfy spiritual hunger); awareness and experience of the meaning of your life; the presence of faith - in God or in oneself, in destiny (predestination) or happy luck in one's life path, in the success of one's own business or the business of the party to which the subject belongs; the ability to freely show commitment to one’s faith, etc.

Physical (bodily) well-being - physical well-being, bodily comfort, sense of health, physical tone satisfying the individual.

Material well-being - satisfaction with the material side of one’s existence (housing, food, leisure ...), the fullness of one’s security, and the stability of material wealth.

Psychological well-being (mental comfort) - the coherence of mental processes and functions, a sense of integrity, internal balance. Psychological well-being is more stable with the harmony of personality. Harmony of personality - the consistency of many processes of its development and self-realization, the proportionality of life goals and opportunities. The concept of harmony is revealed through the concepts of coherence and harmony. Slender means "having the right ratio between its parts." Harmony of the personality is also proportionality of the main aspects of the being of the personality: the space of the personality, time and energy of the personality (potential and realizable).

In subjective well-being (in general and in its components), it is advisable to distinguish two main components: cognitive (reflective) - ideas about individual aspects of one’s being, and emotional - the dominant emotional tone of relations to these parties.

The subjective well-being (or trouble) of a particular person is made up of private assessments of various aspects of a person's life. Separate assessments merge into a feeling of subjective well-being.

The determinants of subjective well-being are peculiar (sometimes contradictory) instances of personality - both external and internal. Therefore, life-meaning orientations, self-image in connection with objective indicators of vital activity and social cognition constitute a determinant complex of subjective well-being.

On the basis of theoretical developments of the subjective well-being problem, several complexes can be distinguished that make up constructs as a result of interaction between instances and are the most important in terms of quality of life and its subjective assessment:

1) a complex of relations with a small society (family, relatives, friends, acquaintances, etc.);

2) a complex of relations with a large society (stability in the country: economic, political, social);

3) a complex of labor processes (profession, professional group, professional interest, professional communication, income);

4) a complex of life processes (needs, safety, health, ecology);

5) a complex of interests (communicative, cognitive, material, etc.);

6) a complex of intrapersonal processes (a system of value orientations, the relationship between internal and social value orientations, self-attitude, self-esteem, a balance between claims and self-esteem);

7) a complex of states and properties (temperament, personality traits, emotional states);

8) a complex of social experience (ways to overcome frustration, a complex of patterns of behavior, social orientation).

To one degree or another, the subjective perception of these instances and the attitude that is forming towards various aspects of life, puts an integral idea of \u200b\u200bone's own well-being (comfort).

A generalization of the characteristics of the selected complexes allows us to determine the main structure-forming factors related to any complex: motivational, informative, hygienic, cognitive and emotional.

Motivational factors include achievement, recognition, growth, quality of life.

The hygienic factors of subjective well-being include living and working conditions, ecology (life, soul).

Cognitive factors - knowledge about the world, about yourself, life and activity, their correlation and assessment.

The group of emotional factors can include the locus between the valencies of the relationship to oneself, the world, life and activity and the reflection of the external assessment.

Almost all of the identified factors in one way or another determine the degree of satisfaction of the individual and her subjective well-being. In turn, satisfaction is an internal factor of the personality, which determines cognitive activity, and relationships with subjects of various types of activity, and attitude to oneself as a subject and personality. It indicates the quality of human life and is that necessary component (regulator), without which the full existence of the subject and the effectiveness of his social relationships are impossible. Hence, it is quite natural to single out such types of it as satisfaction with work, life, communication, oneself and one’s social contacts.

On the other hand, the influence of subjective well-being on certain areas of the personality is obvious. For example, high and low levels of satisfaction can be the basis for personal growth, and favorable behavior (activities), and for various kinds of costs.

The criteria for well-being are predetermined by the entire history of human existence. Therefore, already in the process of predominantly early socialization, the personality assimilates them to the extent and in that qualitative depth to which it is able to assimilate social information in general. Meanwhile, these criteria are then adjusted throughout life, making up a kind of instance of the person with whom she constantly “checks”. Perceptions of one’s own well-being, well-being of other people, assessment of well-being, as L.V. notes Kulikov, rely on objective criteria for well-being. However, the criteria - objective and subjective - are different, since the latter reflects the attitude of the individual towards himself, the world, and life.

According to Inglehart hypotheses, there are two of the most important reasons for the formation of criteria for subjective well-being. It:

1) the hypothesis of the value significance of the missing. The priorities of the individual reflect the state of the socio-economic environment: the greatest subjective value is given to what is relatively lacking;

2) the hypothesis of a socialization lag.

The state of the socio-economic environment and value priorities do not directly correlate with each other: a substantial time lag is wedged between them, because the basic values \u200b\u200bof the individual largely reflect the conditions of those years that preceded adulthood.

However, the formation of personality is a continuous process, and therefore it is necessary to take as the axiom the thesis about its permanent flexibility and sensitivity to changes and historical “accumulation” and complication of well-being criteria.

The criteria for subjective well-being also change depending (and accordingly) on the effects of socialization. At its early stages, the criteria are determined by external authorities, which define them in a “pure” form (through social requirements, fashion, advertising, etc.), then more and more by internal authorities, where self-realization of a personality becomes the main criterion. In the case of determining subjective well-being with the named elements of “external ideology”, we can state the fact of social immaturity. In a number of cases, this leads to a personality crisis, since “constant looking back,” focusing on the external criteria of a “right life” (and often, “beautiful”) does not contribute to the satisfaction of higher needs. Social constructs (often “collective” images) of a successful person are practically not reconstructed within the private life of an individual. In this sense, some institutions of socialization truly define “fabulous” criteria, which, however, are not objectively understood by all. This implies the complication of the substantive components of well-being, their structure-formation and relations, since high criteria regarding certain types of well-being (“all at once”) “determine” their conflicting relationships, which is realized at the level of a specific person, at least in the form of an internal conflict.

The weak effects of socialization, in which the subject uses limited social information, probably give rise to greater satisfaction and greater dissatisfaction with respect to a small circle of objects of life. The stronger effects of socialization represent a larger number of objects with which one can be satisfied, and, therefore, there is the possibility of replacing some with others that are also significant and preferable. In this case, there is no fixation of dissatisfaction, which becomes the driving force of the individual, an activator for achievements, including personal growth.

The main qualitative criterion of well-being in adulthood is self-realization - professional, personal, social, etc. Here, the instances of the individual seem to gain parity in the relationship, and the individual focuses on comprehending the meaning, realizing the human purpose in that understanding, which is based on the implementation of cognitive abilities personality, the formation of a cognitive map throughout life.

As T. Shibutani noted, the way a person considers himself should be a reflection of what, in his opinion, others think of him. To paraphrase this idea and expand it to the phenomenon under study, we can say that the subjective well-being of a person is based on those criteria of well-being that are reflected by the person, as understood by her, although they are not necessarily objective. The meaning of certain indicators of well-being is acquired for a specific person insofar as they appear to them as such. The parameters of “well-being” in different social institutions are presented differently both in the degree of generalization and in their qualitative content. The level of relationship between these parameters is different. Criteria of well-being are objectified, gaining more and more real contours when achieving generalized social criteria for the level of groups of reference for the personality.

From here follows at least three positions. The attitude to well-being is social, objective, universal, as, for example, the well-being of the people; groups with its criteria; and personally understood well-being. The relationship between the well-being of the individual and society is conditional, although the well-being of society, of course, affects the well-being of the individual, at least in some of its parameters. It is also obvious that the well-being of society as a whole largely depends on the consciousness of citizens' own well-being. Meanwhile, the cognitions on the basis of which subjective and sometimes objective criteria of well-being are built can diverge significantly in different cultures depending on historical roots, religious standards, etc.

Another question: how or how is subjective well-being related to the well-being of others? In philosophy, by the way, this question is formulated globally: is it possible to be happy when others are unhappy? For example, Kant said that individual happiness is possible only in the universal. In our opinion, this is a problem of social well-being. Certainly, in a dysfunctional society, people experience subjective well-being, since it implies acts of their own behavior, dispositions, realization of motives, etc. We believe that happiness is also possible, if only through altruism, selfless assistance to others, or investments in development others and society.

It would be naive to believe that with the development of society, there will be more or less subjectively wealthy people. Well-being and dysfunction, happiness and unhappiness are always synthetic and are in some kind of parity relations. The progress of society, as one of the greatest sociologists of the twentieth century proves, Pitirim Sorokin, is neither connected with happiness nor suffering, although “the principle of happiness cannot be excluded from the formula for progress” (Sorokin, 1992). According to our assumption, with the progress of society, there is a “decay” into smaller elements of what can be called happiness, suffering, or well-being: the structures of both are more and more complex. From this we can conclude that with the development of mankind, on the one hand, differentiation in the criteria of well-being intensifies, and on the other, differences in its achievement depending on the ownership of the culture of societies. Their palette is growing stronger and, apparently, the line between these concepts is blurring. In any case, there can be no antagonistic relationship between subjective well-being and dysfunction; they are interpenetrated and reveal the need for each other.

The group, although it is a “conductor” of public attitudes, has its own qualities and criteria for well-being. That is, between the society and the group is not established an unambiguous relationship. It is mediated by complex interweaving of diverse institutional relationships. The diversity of groups, however, does not determine the variety of criteria for the well-being of society, which is more conservative in general, and the well-being of the individual.

The relationship between the well-being of the group and the individual is more obvious, since there is initially a close relationship between the individual and the small group, including the formation of the individual in the group. In any of the cases under consideration, relations are established depending on how much the subjects of relations are ready to accept other subjects, how much they “feel” permanent inclusion in more generalized systems and vice versa (a person as part of a group, a group as an element of a community, etc.) . Each individual reflects reality in his own way, but the same can be said about the group: each group is “free” in its own way to reflect what is happening in society or in itself.

When it comes to the criteria of well-being, one cannot but touch upon the question of their compliance with universal values, norms, and rules. Public safety requires a correlation of internal criteria with external ones; ultimately, the universal measure of human life remains universal values, since any achievements that are based on antisocial values \u200b\u200bwill always be pro-social alternatives that carry what constitutes social meaning. Even compliance with the standards of microsocium, since it does not correlate with universal values, sometimes leads to unpredictable consequences in behavior and emotional-evaluative relationships. Recall the prison experiment of Zimbardo. Whether the role, the situation, or submission to the majority, or all taken together became the causes of the antisocial behavior of its participants. Their subsequent self-reflection became the cause of acute subjective distress. However, even today the question of the persistence of value formations of a person in situations atypical for her remains equally acute and open. Obviously, in the so-called “closed” systems, the problem of adaptation sharply affects the effects of socialization, the mismatch of which with the norms adopted in these systems is the cause of acute personal dysfunction.

The values \u200b\u200band norms of the groups with which the subject is identified prove to be decisive in his behavior and relations. Here a very important problem arises - the problem of socialization, which assumes conformity with the cultural-historical phylogenetic structure of the stages of socialization, where the initial task of socialization is to provide a geocultural field that includes “well-defined traditional values \u200b\u200bfor the region where the child was born and lived, socially expected in this culture stereotypes of behavior ”(Sukharev, 2003).

Subjective well-being is a dynamic education, but at the same time it presupposes, first of all, the dynamics of life in its various aspects (including tempo-rhythmic relations and qualitative restructuring of the systems of “personality”, “life activity”, etc.). It is no coincidence that subjective ill-being occurs at those moments when the subject, for various reasons (forced or regular), finds himself in a “static situation”, when either the goals are exhausted or the experience of “well-being” has become a goal, and any possible changes in the situation can be perceived as threatening this experience. The illusion that the invariance (constancy) of a situation can preserve well-being is the basis of a passive (protective) attitude to well-being.

In other words, the ability to control one’s life and the conviction of this is a significant factor in overcoming difficulties and shaping subjective well-being. It is no accident that in the archetypal representations of personality through folklore (fairy tales, rituals, etc.), a huge experience of the experiences of many generations that have suffered their subjective well-being is “laid down”. The mystical mood, as it does not seem paradoxical, is often one of the conditions for subjective well-being. Many religious creeds proclaim the fatality of existence, but at the same time, freedom of choice of faith or disbelief, and “humility” - a category relating to the past, to what is really impossible to change, and hope for the “mercy of God” that contains an element of reassurance associated with the resulting “opportunity” even through the suffering of achieving “good.” According to researchers, religion acts as a factor in subjective well-being for two reasons: 1) it makes it possible to experience the meaning and purpose of life, its integrity; 2) is one of the sources of social support.

Subjective well-being can be maintained by focusing on any time period of life. So, in some cases it is associated with the experience of past successes, in some - future (possible), but the most appropriate option, obviously, is the unification of all time periods, since it is this unification that indicates the social (personal) maturity of the subject and, therefore , about socially mature subjective well-being. It can represent for a person a distant goal, the pursuit of which has a motivating force (goal-motive), and short-term, in relation to situations, as well as the consequence of the implementation of other goals.

Meanwhile, there are indeed differences in the criteria for subjective well-being caused by cultural differences. In particular, L. Reznichenko cites data from sociological studies, from which it follows that understanding of happiness (as an “affective component of the subjective feeling of well-being”) depends on the place that a particular community occupies on the “individualism-collectivism” continuum. There are also differences due to geographical, ethnic, political, age and other factors that we described earlier. This is due, on the one hand, to subcultural characteristics, and, on the other hand, to differences in the criteria for socialization.

Thus, the psychological content of the concept of subjective well-being is multifaceted and multifaceted. Subjective well-being is a complex integral socio-psychological formation, including emotional, cognitive and conative components, which is formed in the process of socio-psychological activity, in the system of real relationships of the person to the objects of the surrounding reality.

In the formation of subjective well-being, an important role is played by external ones regarding the personality of the institution, among which the most significant are those institutions that ensure the socialization of a child, teenager, adult at different levels and circumstances of life. One way or another, they create not only installation complexes with respect to norms, but also personal constructs that can be qualified as a complex of “self-efficacy”, success.

The psychosocial specialist is familiar with the problem of analyzing factors of family well-being and dysfunction. The complexity of the family as a social system and the psychological community of people of different sex, age, social and professional affiliation leads to the fact that attempts to select a complete list of such factors may be unsuccessful. Therefore, when discussing this problem, we are usually talking about attempts to highlight the most significant factors and indicators of family well-being. One of the integral indicators is the psychological compatibility of spouses (family members in general).

People creating a family strive to satisfy a complex of needs - in love, in children, in the experience of common joys, in understanding, communication. However, the formation of a family is not only the realization of ideal ideas about marriage that have developed with future spouses. This is the real life of two, and then several people, in all its complexity and diversity; it includes continuous negotiations, conclusion of agreements, compromises and, of course, overcoming difficulties, resolving conflicts that exist in every family.

Failure in marriage is largely determined by errors in choosing a partner: the chosen one in reality either does not have the necessary personality traits, or the combination of his psychophysiological characteristics, views and values \u200b\u200bdoes not correspond to the ideas and needs of the elector. Disappointment can occur regardless of the fact that the partner has many positive qualities. It is very important that husband and wife are suited to each other in terms of biological and moral factors, reflecting various aspects of upbringing, political, cultural, religious views, as well as that partners are tolerant of each other's characteristics.

Psychobiological compatibility. We are talking about “indefinable inner sympathy”, which can be based on such clear reasons as admiration for talent, success, public position or external aesthetic ideal. Marriage without spontaneous attraction usually does not guarantee a successful marriage.

Harmonious marriage involves the social maturity of the spouses, preparedness for active participation in society, the ability to financially provide for their family, duty and responsibility, self-control and flexibility. The most successful marriages are those people who value their partner reliability, loyalty, love for the family and a strong character. In an “ideal marriage”, spouses most often possess personality traits such as endurance, industriousness, caring, dedication, and flexibility in behavior. family well-being marital divorce

Factors that indirectly affect the well-being of married life. It is important to know what the marital relations of the chosen one’s parents were, what the family structure is, the material level of the family, and what negative phenomena are observed in the family and in the character of the parents. Even a small family injury often leaves a deep mark, forming a child's negative views and attitudes. Sometimes insurmountable conflicts are inevitable where partners are diametrically different in their worldview.

Education. Higher education does not always increase the stability of family relationships. Even in a marriage between two young people who have graduated from higher education institutions, conflicts may arise which, if not resolved in a timely manner, will give rise to divorce. However, the intellectual level and character of partners should not be excessively different.

Labor stability. People who often change jobs are characterized by instability, excessive dissatisfaction, and inability to establish long-term relationships.

Age determines the social maturity of partners, preparedness to perform marital and parental responsibilities. The most optimal age is 20-24 years. The most natural difference in the age of the spouses is 1-4 years. The stability of the so-called unequal marriages in many respects depends not only on the nature of both partners, on their mutual feelings, but also on their preparedness for age-related features, on the ability to resist the “slander” of others, etc.

Duration of dating. During the period of acquaintance, it is important to get to know each other well, not only in optimal conditions, but also in difficult situations, when personal qualities and weaknesses of the partner’s character are clearly manifested. It is possible, as is customary now, to live together for some time to get comfortable, to get used to each other's peculiarities.

All these factors create the prerequisites for the emergence of marital compatibility and incompatibility. Psychological incompatibility is the inability in critical situations to understand each other. In marriage, each spouse can act as a “psycho-traumatic factor,” for example, when one spouse is an obstacle to meeting the needs of the other. Psychological compatibility is defined as the mutual acceptance of communication partners and joint activities based on the optimal combination - similarity or complementarity - value orientations, personal and psychophysiological characteristics. The psychological compatibility of subjects is a multilevel and multidimensional phenomenon. In family interaction, it includes psychophysiological compatibility) personal compatibility, including cognitive (understanding of ideas about oneself, other people and the world as a whole), emotional (experiencing what is happening in the external and internal world of a person), behavioral (external expression of ideas and experiences ); compatibility of values, or spiritual compatibility.

Thus, the harmony of family-marriage relations in terms of personal parameters is determined by several basic elements:

emotional side of marital relations, degree of affection;

the similarity of their ideas, visions of themselves, partners, the social world as a whole;

similarity of communication models preferred by each partner, behavioral characteristics;

sexual and, more broadly, psychophysiological compatibility of partners;

general cultural level, degree of mental and social maturity of partners, coincidence of spouses' value systems.

Of particular importance in family-marriage relations are the value and psychophysiological compatibility of people. All other types of compatibility or incompatibility are subject to dynamic changes and quite easily change in the process of mutual adaptation of family members or during psychotherapy. Value and psychophysiological incompatibility is not amenable to correction or with great difficulty.

Psychophysiological, and in particular sexual, incompatibility can lead to the collapse of marriage. And the mismatch of values \u200b\u200bin the interaction of people, especially in everyday contacts, leads to an almost irreversible destruction of communication and marital relations. It is important here, on the one hand, how different the evaluation criteria of the spouses are, and on the other, how individual criteria correspond to generally accepted ones. We can talk about double harmony when the value attitudes of the spouses coincide with each other and with the generally accepted system of values; the coincidence of views with the generally accepted value system of only one of the spouses; on the compliance of the value criteria of both partners with generally accepted values \u200b\u200bwhile differentiating their points of view; about double differentiation, when value systems diverge and the interests of both are not identified with generally accepted criteria.

In the absence of any of these groups of prerequisites for compatibility, optimal adaptation does not occur or it occurs slowly, the harmony of the marital union is broken.

The most common factors that determine success or failure in a marriage are the personal qualities of the spouses and their ability to solve all kinds of problems, to be in harmony with each other. In the absence of these skills, conflict situations often arise as a result of the incompatibility of any forces within the same person or between spouses. It is important to take into account the individual psychological characteristics of each spouse. A rational and comprehensive indicator of their personality can be the type of personality: the most common cause of marital conflict and divorce is the “dissimilarity of characters”, the incompatibility of the spouses.

The source of difficulties in family life may be personality traits of one or both spouses. We are talking about traits that initially corresponded to the norm, but were not quite adequate to the personal qualities of the partner or the partner did not find the right approach to communication, was unable to cope with some features of his own psyche. In addition, it can be pathological personality traits, which in themselves are a problem in interpersonal relationships, and even more so in marital relations, making them initially potentially conflicting and complex, requiring special skills and attitudes for more or less harmonious coexistence of family members. . When studying the personality of spouses, the following properties deserve special attention: extraversion-introversion, dominance-subordination, rigidity-flexibility, optimism-pessimism, carelessness-responsibility, rationalism-romanticism, temper-temper lability, ability to social adaptation.

There is no answer to the question of the influence of similarity - homogeneity or opposition and mutual complementarity - complementarity of personality traits on the harmony and success of the marriage. In some cases of polarity homogenization has a positive effect, in others it is complementarity, and in some cases (usually relating, for example, to such a measurement as domination-submission), only one of the polar properties is more beneficial for both partners. The character of the spouses is evidenced by their attitude to work, people around them, property, to themselves and relatives.

The main moral principles, interests, horizons, lifestyle, psychosocial maturity and scale of values \u200b\u200bare important. These indicators reflect the fact that in addition to the personal qualities of the spouses, marital interaction is associated with the expectations and experience of their previous lives. In order to help spouses who have problems in marriage, it is necessary to find out what some of their expectations are based on and what is the real situation in the family. To this end, the marriage of their parents, brothers or sisters is usually considered; the dynamics of the development of marriage.

The concept of duplication of the properties of brothers and sisters suggests that a person seeks in new social ties to realize his relationship with his brothers and sisters. More stable and successful marriages are observed in those cases when relations between partners are built on this principle taking into account gender. In this sense, marital relations can be completely complementary (the husband finds an older sister in his wife, and the wife finds an older brother) or partially complementary (both have older brothers or sisters).

A complementary marriage is an alliance in which each partner has the same position as he had with his brothers or sisters in his parental family. Partially complementary relationships arise if one or both partners in the parent family had several types of relationships with their brothers and sisters, of which at least one is established with the partner. In an incomplete marriage, disagreements and contradictions may appear on the basis of primacy or submission in the family.

The concept of duplication of parental properties suggests that a person learns to fulfill a male or female role to a large extent from his parents and unknowingly uses a model of parental relationships in his family. He learns the marital role by identifying himself with a parent of the same gender. Identification, identification - an elementary psychological reaction, consisting in the fact that the individual mentally equates himself with another person (parent).

Sometimes not noticing, he adopts a way of thinking, ideas and values, and most importantly - emotional reactions and internal states, unconsciously or consciously tries to become like a parent, therefore he approves his standards of behavior and adapts to his assessments. The personality of the individual and the parent merge. The role of the parent of the opposite sex is also included in this scheme: forms of parental relationships become the standard.

In a marriage, both partners are trying to adapt their relationship to internal expectations schemes. Under the influence of falling in love, a person may for some time show “pliability” or, rather, “myopia”, partially refusing to implement his program for the sake of a partner, wanting to adapt to it. Usually this causes an internal contradiction, so there is a desire to return to the programmed path.

Social inheritance of personality traits and behavioral patterns determines the similarity of marital relations, which are also inherited, so we often repeat not only the choice of a partner, but also many of the mistakes and problems of parents. The two most important dimensions of parental relationships largely determine the success of a child’s marriage. The first important dimension is the dominance in the family (which of the parents “commanded” and who obeyed), the second is the general well-being (poise and mutual acceptance) of the relationship. Comparison of relations in successful and conflicting married couples shows that the balance of relations is significantly affected by a favorable model of parental marriage, a good relationship between father and mother, and a happy childhood. Balanced spouses were calm in childhood, they were rarely punished, often caressed.

Distinguish also marriage symmetric, complementary and metacomplete. In a symmetrical marriage, both spouses have equal rights; neither of them is subordinate to the other. Problems are resolved through agreement, exchange, or compromise. In a complementary marriage, one disposes, gives orders, the other awaits advice or instructions. In a metacomplete marriage, the leading position is achieved by one who realizes his own goals by emphasizing his weakness, inexperience, ineptitude and powerlessness, manipulating his partner.

Thus, with a dynamic approach to family problems, marital disharmonies (violations) of relationships are analyzed from the point of view of internal motivation for the behavior of both spouses. Current family conflicts are considered taking into account past conflicts, as well as examples of past emotionally colored relationships. At the same time, the influence of the family in which each of the spouses grew up is evaluated, the inherent atmosphere, poise, calmness, the division of rights and responsibilities between father and mother, and the appeal to the experience of parents are taken into account.

The main prerequisite for change is the ability to understand this connection, to control one’s behavior, and to compare. The comparison appears as an evolutionary comparison: the early sources of today's behavior of each spouse are taken into account. Everyone should understand why he is what he is, what he expects from a marital union, and why he reacts to the partner’s behavior in this way and not otherwise. Matrimony is considered as a consequence of the action of forces consisting in the characteristics of the past experience of the spouses, mainly in their previous personal relationships.

Particular attention in the study of problems of a married couple should be given to the study of the factors of choice by husband and wife of each other. The choice of a partner and interpersonal attractiveness in marriage are supported by factors that are of particular value to the individual or arouse in him hopes that social contact with this partner will be favorable.

1. Motivation or the first phase of communication: "What is he?" A significant role is played by external attractiveness and behavior. Of great importance is the assessment of others.
2. Advantages: “Who is he?” The center of gravity shifts to the area of \u200b\u200bsimilarity of interests, points of view, scale of values. If significant discrepancies are identified and the discovered shortcomings are not compensated by any advantages, the partners disagree, believing that they do not fit together.
3. Role, status: “Where is he?” Estimated role compatibility. Partners determine whether they can take complementary roles in the marital union, which will enable them to meet their needs. The similarity of characters and inclinations, as well as the opposite of complementary traits, are evaluated.

In all phases, the principle of commensurability of exchange applies: equilibrium is achieved only if such an exchange, from the point of view of partners, is equivalent.

So, the problem of family well-being is primarily associated with how psychologically compatible family members are with each other. Compatibility as a multi-level phenomenon is associated not only with the current state and personal characteristics of the spouses, but also with their past life experience, the experience of interpersonal relationships in the parent family. The most optimal situation is when the experience and the acquired type of relationship between the spouses are generally positive, similar or complementary (complementary), and do not contradict the general social system of rules and norms of interaction and relationships.

In the process of studying family functioning and organizing psychosocial assistance to the family, it is necessary to take into account normative (correlated with a specific stage of family life) crises. The diversity of family systems significantly complicates the problem of analyzing the stages of marital and family relationships, however, some of the most typical options can be identified.

Researchers believe that marital relationships are constantly evolving and changing. From time to time, some “unforeseen” changes may occur in relations between spouses, however, there are a number of regular, “normative” changes that are typical for the development of marriage in time. In place of romantic love during courtship and youth, comes a realistic understanding of marriage. Often it comes to a confrontation of idealistic ideas about marriage and a partner with the real "little things" of everyday life. After the birth of children, new joys and concerns appear. Separate stages of the development of marital relations correspond to the periods of raising children, their separation from parents and possible departure from home. The most famous is the system of "stages", where the presence or absence of children in the family and their age are used as the main sign of their differentiation. E. Duval (E.M. Duvall, for example, identified the following phases in the family life cycle.

Meeting future spouses, their emotional attraction to each other.

Acceptance and development of new parental roles.

Adoption of a new personality (child) into the family. The transition from dyadic relations of spouses to relationships in the triangle.

Introduction of children to extra-family institutions.

Adoption of teenage children.

Experimenting with independence.

Preparing for the departure of children from the family.

The departure of children from the family, the adoption of their care, the life of the spouses “face to face”.

Acceptance of retirement and old age.

When analyzing the stages of development of marital relations, the following are distinguished: young marriage, middle-aged marriage, and maturity of mature years.

The young marriage lasts less than five years. The age of the spouses is from 18 to 30 years. During this period, they get used to each other, buy furniture and household items, often do not have their own apartment and live with the parents of one of them. Over time, an apartment appears, which is gradually furnished, a private household is being built. Spouses expect children, with the birth of which there are obligations associated with the care and care of them. In the professional field, young spouses only acquire any qualifications, gradually they reach a certain position, adapt to the new family environment. The wife is on maternity leave for some time. Living together requires considerable expenses, including psychological ones, therefore parents support them financially and “morally”.

The middle-aged marriage lasts 6-14 years. During this period, people are economically active, occupy a stable social position and are spared the need to purchase an apartment, furniture, etc. The house is no longer small, children - schoolchildren or students - are becoming more independent. In addition to household chores, a wife can devote significantly more time to professional activities.

Maturity of adulthood occurs after 15 and lasts up to 25 years. The family already has adult children, the spouses are left alone or get used to living with their families and raising their grandchildren.

Elderly matrimony is characterized by a decrease in labor productivity and an increase in health problems. Marriage is generally stable. Spouses need help and are afraid to lose each other. Relations between them are the same as they have developed over a long life together. At this time, it’s hard to change anything. The narrowing of social contacts sometimes increases pressure on adult children, especially when they live together, which can cause conflicts. Conflicts between the elderly can serve as a reflection of their conflict with the "young" because of the different attitudes towards them.

A crisis situation in the family can also occur without the influence of any external factors that determine the household and economic situation of the couple, without the intervention of parents, infidelity or any pathological personality traits of one of the spouses. The presence of these factors accelerates the creation of a crisis situation and exacerbates it. A feeling of dissatisfaction is growing, differences of opinion are being revealed, silent protest, quarrels, a feeling of deceit and reproach arise.

There are two main critical periods in the development of marital relations.

The first occurs between the third and seventh years of married life and lasts, if the case is favorable, for about a year. Such factors contribute to its occurrence:

* the disappearance of romantic moods, an active rejection of contrast in the behavior of a partner during the period of falling in love and in everyday family life;
* an increase in the number of situations in which spouses show different views on things and cannot come to an agreement;
* more frequent manifestations of negative emotions, increased tension between partners.

The second crisis period begins approximately between the seventeenth and twenty-fifth years of marriage. It is less deep than the first, and can last several years. Its occurrence often coincides:

* with the approach of the period of involution, with an increase in emotional instability, fears, the appearance of various somatic complaints;
* with the emergence of a feeling of loneliness associated with the departure of children;
* with the growing emotional dependence of the wife, her feelings about rapid aging, as well as her husband’s possible desire to sexually prove herself on the side of “it’s not too late.”

Thus, crisis situations have certain patterns that lie in the foundations of marital relations. To effectively solve the problems that arise, one should not seek fault only in the behavior of any of the partners. These patterns must be known and taken into account, adjusting their behavior in accordance with them.

A special issue is the stage of re-marriage. With a divorce, almost inevitably there is a feeling of loss, there is a feeling of rejection, abandonment, uselessness. At first glance, it may seem that abandonment is felt only by someone for whom the divorce was a “surprise”, but the initiator himself, long before the final decision on the divorce is made, experiences the same negative feelings. Like any grief, divorce is experienced in several stages: the first shock, depression and rebirth. Each stage requires time and an active reaction. Having slipped one of them, for example, “closing his eyes” with the help of alcohol or superficial falling in love, a person dooms himself to an unexpected return to the unrealized stage.

Divorce as a phenomenon is often associated with the experience of interpersonal relationships that spouses have learned in their parental families. It is noticed that the mistakes of relatives "just want to be repeated", and children of divorced parents often subconsciously provoke divorces in their families. You can try to break this “vicious circle” by analyzing your own and parental styles of family relationships. A simpler analysis is given with the help of a family therapist. But for starters, it's nice to independently find and explain your mistakes. This will help not only to see them, but also to realize them in order to avoid repetition in the future. The experience of finding family happiness on the second or third attempt encourages divorced people. In addition, there is even such an opinion that each new marriage is like a new life, and therefore a person who has replaced several spouses has lived several lives.

The advantages of remarriage compared to the first are that the partners no longer count on “eternal”, romantic love and approach their marriage more rationally. They often feel gratitude for all the good that a second marriage provides them, try to save it, actively protect it. If the disharmony in family relationships arises again, the spouses are more prepared, motivated to correct their relationship and, if necessary, easier to break up the relationship.

However, neurotics, persons with pathological traits of character in the second marriage have the same unfortunate choice of a partner, the same mistakes are noted that led to the collapse of the first marriage. Normal, adaptive personalities more often draw the right conclusions from previous failures, choose a more adequate partner for the second marriage, or behave more meaningfully.

So, the marriage union in its development goes through a number of stages, accompanied by the so-called normative crises. The general nature of these crises, however, does not determine their severity and severity. Much depends on the desire and culture of interpersonal relationships of spouses, their ability to reconsider their erroneous views, and the desire to maintain psychologically prosperous, healthy relationships with other family members. The presence of a conscious attitude towards joint development with a partner, timely detection of changes in relationships allow spouses to adjust their behavior. Inattention to each other's development processes, changes in the needs and interests of the partner puts the family on the verge of collapse. Divorce as an extreme way to resolve emerging family contradictions can be a constructive experience if a person realizes the need to change their own ideas about themselves, other people, family life.

Conflict is a deliberate clash, the confrontation of at least two people, groups, their mutually opposite, incompatible, mutually exclusive needs, interests, goals, types of behavior, relationships, attitudes that are significant for the individual and group (s).

Conflicts are socially determined and mediated by individual characteristics of the psyche of people. They are associated with acute emotional experiences - affects, with the action of cognitive stereotypes - ways of interpreting a conflict situation, and at the same time with the flexibility and “ingenuity” of an individual or group in search and selection of conflict paths, that is, leading to increased conflict behavior.

Participants in family conflicts are often not opposing parties, adequately aware of their goals, rather they are victims of their own unconscious personality traits and incorrect, inappropriate reality, vision of the situation and themselves. Family conflicts are characterized by extremely ambiguous and therefore inadequate situations related to the peculiarities of people's behavior in conflicts. Demonstrated behavior often disguises true feelings and perceptions of a conflict situation and of each other. Thus, affection and love can be hidden behind rude and noisy clashes between spouses, and emotional stress, chronic conflict, and sometimes hatred, can be hidden behind emphasized politeness.

In the course of the conflict as a process, four main stages are distinguished (K. Vitek, 1988; G.A. Navaitis, 1995):

the emergence of an objective conflict situation;

awareness of an objective conflict situation;

transition to conflict behavior;

conflict resolution.

A conflict becomes a reality only after the realization of the contradictions, since only the perception of the situation as a conflict gives rise to appropriate behavior (it follows from this that the contradiction can be not only objective, but also subjective, imaginary). The transition to conflict behavior is actions aimed at achieving their goals, and blocking the achievement of the opposite side of her aspirations and intentions. It is essential that the opponent’s actions should also be recognized by him as conflicting. This stage is associated with an aggravation of the emotional tone of relationships and their progressive destabilization. However, the actions of the participants simultaneously carry out a peculiar cognitive function, when the escalation and development of the conflict leads to a deeper, although not always more accurate understanding of the situation.

Two main ways of resolving conflicts are possible: changing the objective conflict situation and transforming its “images”, the opponents' understanding of the nature and nature of the conflict.

Family conflicts are usually associated with the desire of people to satisfy certain needs or create conditions for their satisfaction without taking into account the interests of the partner. There are many reasons for this. This includes various views on family life, and unfulfilled expectations and needs, rudeness, disrespect, adultery, financial difficulties, etc. The conflict, as a rule, is generated not by one, but by a complex of reasons, among which it is conditionally possible to single out the main - for example, the unmet needs of the spouses.

Maria VegesPhD, Organizational Stress and Wellness Management Consultant:

- Hello colleagues! I am glad to welcome you to the Corporate Well-being program. And today we are visiting Anna Strelnikova, Director of Human Resources and Administrative Affairs of IPSEN.

Hello Anna!

Anna Strelnikova, HR and Administrative Director, Russia and the CIS,IPSEN:

Hello Maria!

- We’ll talk today about how the companyIPSEN implemented well-being programs for employees. And in the end, I will ask Anna the most interesting questions regarding how Anna herself monitors her personal well-being.

Anna, tell us about how the well-being project came about in your company.

Thank you, Maria, for the question. Let's probably tell you a little about the company. IPSEN is an international biopharmaceutical company focused on innovation and specialized areas. In addition, we have a very large baggage of knowledge and skills in the field of OTC drugs.

The slogan of our company is Innovation for Patient Care. And this word “care” determines not only our attitude to our patients, but also the way we work with our employees. Therefore, wellbeing or well-being is not a project for us, it is part of our corporate culture.

Very interesting approach. And how do you manage to manage the well-being of employees? Maybe tell us about the latest interesting projects that have happened with you?

With pleasure. We have defined for ourselves a systematic approach to the concept of “well-being”. The basis of this approach, we put the Gallup Global Well-Being Index, which consists of five factors. And with each of these five factors, we are consistently working.

- Anna, what are these five factors?

These are factors of success, social well-being, social well-being, physical well-being and financial well-being. Of the most interesting projects that we have had recently, one can probably mention “A week without stress”. So, our No Stress program or “A week without stress” was aimed at working with physical well-being. We all live in a stressful world, and we wanted to help our employees find out what stress is and how to work with it, what tools are available to deal with stress - simple and effective - and increase awareness of their approach to their conditions.

- What audience was this project designed for?

In general, the project is aimed at all IPSEN employees in Russia. We started with the office staff, and now in July we plan a second wave for our field employees, who are located throughout Russia.

- Tell us, please, who was part of the team that was implementing this project?

In fact, this is a very large team, and it is very nice because it is a whole inspired team that is engaged in such a cool project. This, of course, is the personnel department, this is the internal communications manager, this is a labor protection specialist. And, most importantly, this is our CEO and our business leaders. It seems to me that the success of any project is due precisely to the fact that many people, and especially business, are involved in such initiatives.

- Please tell us how the company leaders relate towellbeing, as they may, by their own example, demonstrate their own approach to this topic.

In fact, our leaders are very active in the well-being approach. They demonstrate this in the fact that they support initiatives within the company. In addition, they, of course, are engaged in their own well-being: play sports, go to various educational events, engage in charity. And this is also very valuable, because by example we set an example for our employees.

Do you have any more or less standard procedure for how you evaluate the effectiveness of such programs?

For us, the main criterion for the effectiveness of ongoing programs is the involvement of our employees. Every two years, the company usually conducts a survey of employees about their involvement. The latest survey was conducted in 2017, and based on the results of this survey, our engagement index is 92%. This is the highest result across the company, and it is significantly higher than the market trends that exist today.

Well, this is a really high enough rate. What about the difficulties that you encounter in the implementation process? Can you recall any barriers that you had at that moment when you wanted to implement a project supporting some kind of initiative in the area of \u200b\u200bemployee well-being?

You know, we are probably happy employees and a happy company, because our employees and our leaders very much support all the initiatives that are launched within the organization. The only difficulty is not, but our specificity is that most of the employees are distributed throughout Russia, and it’s not always possible for us to do everything for everyone here and now. Therefore, we always strive to find some of the most universal and optimal activities that can be implemented for all cities throughout the country.

- Anna, please tell us more about projects within the framework of public welfare. What else are you doing?

Oh Maria, we have a lot of projects here. Again, returning to our slogan Care, the word is not only about patients and about employees. We teach our colleagues to take care of the surrounding, external world. Of the interesting projects that we launched is the collection of batteries. Now, not only the employees themselves, but also their families are accustomed to bring batteries to work and put them in a special container. We also launched a very cool waste paper collection project. It would seem that this story remained in Soviet times, but no. And we started with completely small things. At the beginning, we put just ordinary boxes, and suggested that the employees put paper there. As a result, the project has grown, and now we have special containers for collecting paper. And one of the supplier companies comes on a regular basis, picks up these boxes and takes out, respectively, paper for recycling. I can say that in three months we have already collected 900 kilograms of paper.

And, probably, such the latest and most unexpectedly found response in the hearts of our employees project happened on June 5, on the Day of Environmental Protection. If you don’t know, this year it’s the topic “Fighting for Plastic Pollution”. So, on the 5th we refused in the office from plastic bottles and glasses. Now we have only glass glasses, only glass bottles. And we were incredibly pleased to know that our employees support us. We received a huge amount of positive feedback, reviews. And it’s really very nice to see that everything we do resonates in our hearts.

We are doing quite a lot of charity initiatives, and these are initiatives both local, in Russia, and global at the level of the entire headquarters. And also we join various initiatives that take place in principle in the country. So, for example, we participated in the initiative “Someone’s life is no longer a trifle”, as well as “Old age in joy”. Our employees bought gifts for their grandparents on their own, brought them to the office, and we were simply responsible for delivering their gifts to the recipients for the New Year.

If we talk about our local initiative, we came up with a completely stunning project, called "Spring Landing." Indeed, we and the office staff arrange a landing every spring, leave and ennoble public areas, paint, plant flowers. We make our planet even more beautiful.

Very interesting! Anna, tell us about the other components of well-being. What projects are you implementing in other areas?

If we are talking about financial well-being, probably many of the things we do are traditional. Every year we evaluate the effectiveness of our employees, annually review wages. Be sure to develop various bonus programs. A very good initiative is the rewarding of employees who have been working for 5-10-15 years in the company today.

“By the way, are there many?”

Yes, we have a lot of employees who have been working in the organization for so long. This is also a good indicator of how comfortable and interesting it is for employees to work with us.

If we are talking about social well-being - this is about acceptance, about love, about gratitude - we also have various projects. For example, lunch with the CEO. We reward employees who demonstrate our values \u200b\u200bin their work, and they have the chance to meet all together with the CEO, communicate, discuss both work and personal issues. A very cool initiative, employees greatly appreciate the possibility of such communication with the first person of the company.

- Anna, please tell us about your comfortable office.

In 2017, we opened our new office. In fact, we moved from the fourth floor to the second, but here we feel like in a completely new place. Incredibly ergonomic, bright, very beautiful, with lots of greenery. We are sitting, Maria, in our kitchen, which is made like a French bistro - a special place where employees can have a cup of coffee, relax, chat with each other. In fact, it was very important for us to create an ergonomic, convenient, comfortable office for employees that meets the latest standards and trends in general by any standards. We are very proud.

Very comfortable, very cozy place. Good, and as for the next well-being initiative that you have, this is the so-called Success. Tell us more about the projects that you are conducting in this direction.

Here we really work a lot, and this is probably the area over which we will work in more detail in the coming years. Here we try to individually approach the development of our employees. We have various training programs for our top talents, for high potential guys, for those who will soon become managers.

We also have various solutions for all employees - this is mainly e-learning, a corporate library that is accessible to everyone. We try to form succession plans for key positions. And, indeed, it is very important for us that the people who work in our company can develop professionally here, build their careers and move up the professional ladder as well.

Thank you, Anna. And now the most interesting part: tell us about your personal recommendations, how you monitor your personal well-being.

I try to drink two liters of water a day, I try to go to the gym twice a week and smile as much as possible every day.

- Thank you, Anna, very much!

Thank you very much, Maria!

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