How long husbands forget lovers. How to help her husband forget her lover? Husband got a mistress what to do

When a woman finds out about the betrayal of her husband, for her immediately comes the most difficult life span. After the first shock, the explanations with her husband, the woman still has a lot of unresolved issues. It is necessary to decide how to live on, what to do with common property, and most importantly, to be able to quickly forget unpleasant moments. Let’s talk in more detail about how to forget the husband’s betrayal and the advice of a psychologist will help to deal with the most difficult situation.

From any, it would seem the most difficult situation, you can always find a way out. The main thing is to correctly approach the solution of the problem that has arisen, to solve it calmly, without panic. This also applies to the situation when a loved one betrayed.

At first it is difficult for a woman who learned about betrayal to even imagine how to forget her husband’s betrayal. To deal with the problem, try the following recommendations:

• before making any decision regarding the unfaithful spouse, you must finally make sure that the betrayal really was;


• evidence of betrayal of a spouse may be his confession or any evidence obtained personally by you. Do not trust photos, dialogs from messengers or other information received from unauthorized persons. People may be interested in breaking your family relationships and forging evidence;


• do not trust even your best friends. There should not be third parties in a relationship of two.

It’s rare, but it happens when strangers seem to be interested in terminating your relationship. Never rule out this possibility, act very carefully.

How to forget the betrayal of a loved one, so as not to return to a difficult and unpleasant situation? Try the following steps:

• before attacking the husband, give him the opportunity to at least somehow explain;


• without a frank conversation, it’s impossible to make a competent decision. Often, if not always, both spouses are to blame for cheating. Whatever the reason for the betrayal, she says the relationship has cracked;


• after finding out the true cause of the betrayal, analyze what happened and think about how to continue to behave with a man;


• it’s not possible to calm down completely. Do not know how to forget the betrayal of a loved one, so try to calm down first, and then wait a while.

Not all women are able to cope with stress alone when they learn about a spouse's betrayal. Do not wait for the situation to normalize by itself; it is better to seek the advice of a psychologist.

1. psychologists highlight such a problem as incompleteness of action. The bottom line is: any action must necessarily end with something. Otherwise, the problem will depress the psyche. So with betrayal. If it was all just a conversation, it’s hard for a woman to forget what happened;


2. to get rid of the problem, you need to set a task, then complete it. For example, you figured out the reason for your husband’s infidelity, but you don’t know what to do next. This means that thoughts about this will not be released, they will interfere with a quiet life;


3. to quickly forget about betrayal, you need to adjust your behavior in such a way as to make a firm and final decision. If you are going to forgive your husband, then forgive and forget the insults. We decided to leave - do it and also throw it out of your head.

Any decision should be made only in a calm state. In a severe disorder, in emotional stress, you will not be able to accept

  competent decision.

If you continue to live with your husband, then do not recall his mistake at every conflict. Especially when the spouse sincerely repented. Do not recall the old sins. Since you gave your husband a chance, then give him the opportunity to use it. So it will be easier for the woman to forget about what happened.

How to forget about the betrayal of her husband? Stop compassion in yourself and you can look at the situation differently.

Where does pity come from when it comes to treason? A woman feels unhappy, injured, she becomes insulted. The cheated wife begins to feel sorry for herself. And pity is one of the worst definitions. To feel sorry for oneself means to feel worthless, worse in comparison with someone else. From this, self-esteem decreases, confidence disappears.

Even worse, if, despite the man’s betrayal, the wife begins to feel sorry for him too. Think about how you are worse than your man to be so humiliated. What are his advantages, which gives him the right to humiliate the once beloved woman. Answer these questions honestly, and get the pity out of your head.

It is difficult to forget about the betrayal of your beloved husband. And if the family has common children, then the situation is doubly complicated.

• so that your head doesn’t become clogged with thoughts of treason, do something interesting. Find an activity that will take all your free time, so that there is no time to be distracted by such thoughts;


• in order not to bother with thoughts of betrayal, read the statistics. Almost every family at least once, but survived the betrayal of one of the partners. Of course, this will not become easier. But think, if everyone continued to think about treason, then relations and further life would stop;


• in some exceptional cases, adultery serves as a reset of relationships. Spouses continue to live together, and their feelings are not only restored, but go to a new level.

The most difficult and unpleasant test can also be viewed from the positive side. This is another page of life experience. After the experienced betrayal, you will begin to look differently at the relationship, become wiser.

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As you know, the relationship between representatives of the stronger and weaker sex begins with mutual sympathy, which develops into love, because each of us seeks to find our life partner and it is our site that will help you build really strong relationships and become happy.

Question to the psychologist

Good evening. I’m 28, I’m married, a month ago my second daughter was born, during the pregnancy I sent my wife and first child to another city, to my parents. I live one half a year. It so happened, at work I drew attention to another. Initially, it was agreed that this would not be for long and I would not leave the family. Relations turned out to be short-lived (about 3 months), meetings were infrequent, but I constantly thought about her. As a result, a few days ago we decided to finish them, especially since she decided to restore relations with a former young man whom she was going to marry. We communicate, call up, in the near future she is still going to marry, I am glad for her, but unfortunately I can not forget her. I can’t do everything, but I won’t leave my family, especially now, when another child was born. How to forget her? I can neither work, nor talk with my wife, I can’t think of anything else. Thanks.

Alexei, do not try to forget, the more you try, the more you get stuck in this, because the forbidden fruit and all the ensuing consequences are from here. Analyze what attracts you to her thoughts? Ease of meeting, romance, maybe a special understanding? Or good sex?

If you do not want to leave the family, so spend time with this family! Make your family life interesting and eventful - such as your lover provided for you. A joint interesting pastime, common activities - will bring you together and turn your attention. Try to understand what attracts you to that girl and find it in your own life. In the end, meet her to feel what it is. But to be gloomy and unhappy at the moment when your wife needs your support, and the eldest daughter - special attention - this is really a sin :) Do whatever you like, but put yourself in order, remember that you are the head of the family and you are responsible for that how your loved ones feel. And how you achieve this - with or without a mistress - does not matter so much. But in general, you can always solve the problem in different ways, not only directly. Look for what you are missing and embody it in your family.

Golysheva Evgenia Andreyevna, psychologist Moscow

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Who is she - the lover of a married man? This is the woman who is waiting for her lover from time to time, secretly meets with him and knows for sure that he will never leave his family for her. And the worst thing is to realize that someday this novel will end, and then her heart will break in half.

And how does the man himself experience such a separation? Forgets with ease or tears his soul with a shirt? Depends on what kind of relationship the lovers had and what served as the impetus for the separation.

Big love relationship

Well, it also happens that family life has become very annoying man. Quarrels, disrespect, unsettled life - everything loosens the nerves, and the man seeks an outlet on the side. By the way, you can read about this situation in the article.

A frivolous-romantic relationship with this couple can turn into a serious and long-lasting romance with ardent feelings. It would seem - well, why should both be tormented, you need to divorce and create your own, new unit of society. Moreover, if many began to guess about their relationship.

But no, fat circumstances make the lovers leave. The reasons are many:

A grandiose scandal broke out in relatives: the father-in-law promises to destroy the villain financially, and his wife mentally, fencing off children.

The children themselves cry: "Dad stay, we love you!". The father's heart breaks, ordering the mind to listen to the children.

The lover herself, realizing that she will break several lives, is hiding in an unknown direction, realizing that this will be better.

And now, having been tagged for a while, the guy realizes that nothing can be done - you need to come to terms. The complexity of his situation is that he will have to do a good face in a bad game:

It is necessary to look casual, as if nothing was happening, and sometimes even sigh destructively, they say, regrets what happened.

We must smile at family parties when friends and relatives come so that everyone sees that everything is back to square one.

It is necessary to have breakfast with appetite, have fun playing with children, and enthusiastically engage in his hobbies so that his wife does not suspect him of depression.

And the soul is a terrible confusion. If the mistress has not yet changed her place of residence, then she is furiously drawn to her, since her feelings do not want to cool down. The article describes what disruptions can sometimes be due to this powerful love, even to the point of breaking the family.

But if a man firmly chose a family, not a mistress, then even with apparent calm, he experiences the pains of separation. Like a film, he twists in memory the meeting with his passion, recalls her voice, face, smell.

In men, unlike women, logic prevails over feelings, so he begins to analyze, and not dismiss, the nurse: if he made such a choice, then he really had something to lose.

So you need to pull yourself together and leave with your head:

• to work
• in hobbies,
• in family matters,
• in sports.

You need to score your free time to drive away thoughts from your former lover, and time will heal the wounds. And it’s even good that she disappeared from view, less temptations to drive away to her.

The situation can be aggravated by alcohol, the phone and its appearance (for example, in social networks). For many men, it's like a red rag for a bull - the brakes fail immediately, especially after a couple of drunk glasses. And such walks on a sharp blade can last for a long time, almost until the image of her lover is completely erased from the memory of a man.

When a conflict is brewing

Not all men run to their mistress for great love, some manage to get into relationships by passion, stupidity, for the sake of powerful sex. Not to say that a lover for such a walker is a soulless inflatable doll. No, of course, there are feelings for a sweetheart, but you can’t wait to abandon your family for her sake!

In addition, stupidity lies in the fact that for the sake of passion, a man begins to hang noodles to his mistress's ears:

He swears eternal love, especially in moments of passion.

He promises to leave his family and marry her.

Deliberately delaying the fulfillment of promises, so as not to lose it.

Well, this is precisely the way a man digs a hole for himself. He values \u200b\u200brelations, because being with his mistress, he mentally and physically gets everything that he cannot get from his wife. But the mistress is not a silent idiot, and at some time she begins to push him. The man feels that the smell is already fried.

This is where the problems begin, which depend on the nature of the lover, if suddenly a man needs a break in relations:

The insidious lover can reach aggressive blackmail.   To break up quickly with such an impatient woman is very dangerous - she will take revenge in full. Therefore, an intelligent man gradually brings the novel to nothing, trying instead of love to cause disgust in his passion.

A crying lover begins to call and sob into the phone.   He will ensure that her boyfriend does not abandon her and keep her promises. Moreover, she will call at the most inconvenient time for a man. Well, what can he do but to block her calls and the page on the social network?

Sassy lover will appear everywhere in a man’s life.   Up to the point that he will have an affair with his friend, to wedge himself in the circle of his communication and family. An example of such a mistress is in the film “Vacation in September”. Look at your leisure - a very educational film.

If a lover all the time asks for dates, aching, demanding and threatening, then the man is not that ruthless - he passionately wants to scatter with her. As passionately as he once wanted her in bed. In the article you can read what a man is experiencing.

Meetings are becoming less and less, promises are becoming less and less, although a man pretends to want to see each other, but he has a lot of work, his wife is sick, children are crying. He sighs with relief after the final breakup, when he can put an end to the relationship, and will be glad that he escaped with a slight fright.

If the lover is the initiator of the breakup

When her lover has patience and is not satisfied with the status of a “second woman” in her lover's life, she herself decides to put an end to it. She needs a family, husband, children, and not two-hour sex once a week.

If this woman is dear to a man, and he didn’t even think about parting with her, then his behavior can radically change. Still - everything suited him like that:

Sex on the side has always been much brighter than with the wife.

His lover understood, regretted, forgiven.

He himself still has strong feelings for her.

And then everything collapses? The feelings of a man are aggravated, especially when a woman found a substitute for him. The most desperate married man can lose his head: he abandons his family, becomes a free man and arranges a personal life with his middling.

If his pathetic attempts did not give any result, then he still decides to let his beloved go. Yes, he will suffer, but the mind will overpower the senses. His real emotions will not be understood by his wife, because he will explain thoughtfulness with fatigue, and nervous breakdowns - with problems at work.

He can track the life of a former lover on social networks or the story of acquaintances and hope that he might still have the chance to be alone with her. The ugly rival is not a wall - it will move, because the mistress probably still has the same craving and warm feelings for past relationships.

Someday he will calm down when he feels the irreversibility of the circumstances. But at first, gloat over his lover and cry his wife: a man is experiencing an “open turning point” in his life, and it hurts him nerves and pride, which will bring confusion to family relationships.

If it were not for the secret of relations with his mistress, then he would have suffered in the same way as described in the article. Although the walker is to the left, he is also a walker in Africa. He will be a little bit hungry and most likely will find a replacement for his mistress, a little less obstinate and not longing for a serious relationship.

Unfortunately, relationships do not always last forever. How to forget a lover and stop making tragedy from breaking up with him? Regardless of who initiated the break, you need to continue to live on. The advice of psychologists gathered below will help you recover faster and regain the ability to enjoy life.

How to forget a lover: tears

Psychologists are unanimous in the fact that those representatives of the fair sex who make themselves restrain emotions make a fatal mistake. How to forget a lover without spending months and years returning to life? You just need to allow yourself to cry, allocating exactly one day for this, and then accept the current situation.

Of course, if the desire to shed tears does not disappear within 24 hours, you can indulge in this occupation for a few more days. The main thing is to precisely determine the date for the cessation of suffering. Favorite sweets and a list of sentimental melodramas, whose heroes are much worse, will help to brighten up life in this difficult period.

Black list

How to forget a lover and learn to sincerely rejoice in parting with him? Unfortunately, our memory is arranged in such a way that when breaking with a person, only the best moments associated with him are scrolled in the head. This does not mean at all that the ex-guy consists of strengths alone and has no shortcomings. To realize this, a long list of his negative character traits and bad habits, compiled with his own hands, will help.

What points should be added to the black list? It is allowed to mention any flaws that annoyed a man: selfishness, irresponsibility, laziness, and so on. You can also note bad habits, for example, addiction to beer, smoking, computer addiction. You can even note snoring at night if the list seems too short. Having completed work on the list, it is worth hanging the result in a prominent place and re-reading it from time to time. This will help to understand that the former lover does not reach the title of the man of dreams.

hen-party

How to forget a lover and stop wasting time on useless regrets about the break? Of course, if you wish, you can completely protect yourself from the world for several days and even weeks, restricting it to the borders of your own apartment. However, it is much better to call close friends for a visit with whom you did not have enough time in the midst of the romance, as well as purchase a bottle of martini. To tell your loved ones about your trouble means to take a confident step on the path to healing.

During a bachelorette party, you should not avoid talking about a former lover. On the contrary, it is worth asking your friends to remember all the negative features that the “object” possessed. It is possible that at the end of such an evening of memories, parting with a friend will seem a blessing, not a tragedy, it will come to the realization that he is not worthy to grieve about him.

Image change

How to forget a lover if you are strongly drawn to return to him? Cardinal able to give positive emotions will help to distract from wrong desires. It's time to make an ultra-short haircut, which could not be decided due to the fact that the former lover liked the long-haired young ladies. Or dye your hair a different color, bright and extravagant. Finally, you can experiment with cosmetics.

A lot of books have been written about the healing properties of shopping, why not make sure of their availability in practice? It is possible that the time has come to radically change your style and create a different image. If there is no desire to experiment, you can restrict yourself to acquiring stylish new things, the fitting of which is simply obliged to reflect on the mood positively. Even a pair of trendy shoes can return a smile to your face for a while.

Sport

How to forget a lover? The advice of specialists may vary, but all psychologists are unanimous that sports will help a suffering woman. Instead of indulging in sadness, you should buy a subscription to the gym or pool, sign up for yoga courses or start learning about an unfamiliar dance.

Young ladies who are trying to survive a painful break with a man are shown physical activity in the fresh air. Why not introduce into your life such a wonderful tradition as a morning run? In addition, you can ride a bicycle or roller skate, from time to time to refuse to transport in favor of hiking.

It is obvious that playing sports positively affects not only the mood, but also the appearance. A beautiful body is the key to the return of self-confidence, which was shaken as a result of parting.

A change of scenery

How to forget a lover? Psychologist's advice also includes such a thing as a change of scenery. It’s great if you have the opportunity to take a vacation and flee to another country for a couple of weeks. Traveling means new interesting acquaintances, fresh impressions. It is advisable to give preference to outdoor activities, rather than beach, so as not to leave time for suffering.

If the purchase of a foreign tour is not included in the plans, why not get to know better your hometown? Surely there are sights with a fascinating history, noteworthy museums and art galleries. Such entertainments can be found not only in your city, but also in neighboring settlements, visiting of which does not imply significant material and time costs.

Work immersion

“I can’t forget my former lover!” Is a complaint often heard by psychologists. Many of them advise in such a case to go headlong into work, as this will help to distract from experiences. The result of such efforts can be a bonus from the bosses, which is worth spending on acquiring luxurious gifts for yourself.

Parting with a man is a wonderful reason to think about a career. Why not find time for self-development, not start attending seminars, courses, and trainings useful for career advancement? In addition, you can study foreign languages, knowledge of which will certainly be useful in the future.

Repairs

How to forget a lover? Oddly enough, you can get rid of the experiences associated with the gap, you can create yourself unbearable living conditions. It is possible that it is time to stop putting off repairs in the apartment for later. Fortunately, repairing is not an occupation that you can quit halfway, you always have to finish it. Consequently, there will be no time for suffering for a long period.

Perhaps the time has come to buy new furniture with which various memories will not be associated? You can also rearrange it, which will create the illusion of a change of scenery. In addition, psychologists advise removing things related to the ex-boyfriend or reminiscent of him from home. If it is a pity to part with his gifts forever, you should take them out of your eyes for a while, waiting for the moment when they cease to cause any emotions.

New acquaintances

How to forget a married lover? To cope with this task will help the realization that there are many free representatives of the opposite sex, ready for a romantic relationship. It's time to stop rejecting invitations to social events, parties and birthdays, start visiting places where you can meet many interesting people. Also, do not give up the opportunities that these days are provided by the global network for free. It is dating sites that help many men and women find their other half.

However, do not forget that psychologists warn young ladies, who are having a hard time breaking, from hasty novels. Starting a new relationship out of revenge or a desire to forget herself, girls harm only themselves. Moreover, this is incorrect in relation to the involuntary participants in such revenge.

Popular bugs

How to forget a lover, if you pull? The advice of specialists will not help if the girl does not stop looking for a meeting with a former young man. You should not specifically (or accidentally) visit the places where he happens, go to his pages on social networks. It is advisable to get rid of joint photos or to remove them from the visibility zone for some time.

In addition, for some time you should refrain from drinking alcohol. In a state of intoxication, you can begin to attack a former lover with calls and SMS messages. In addition, alcohol only enhances. Do not rush to the other extreme, excessively carried away by junk food, as this will negatively affect not only the figure, but also the mood and well-being.

Love does not always arise for a person who may be nearby, and we are talking about feelings for a married man. It also happens that a married woman is carried away by someone who is not her legal spouse. Fornication, which lasts even several years, in rare cases ends with a happy reunion of lovers. Most men who decide to commit adultery do not plan to leave their wife and marry their mistress, so such relationships usually have no prospects. Forgetting a lover is what a woman who dreams of a happy family and true love should do.

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  Why do you need to forget your lover?

No matter how strong feelings for a married man may be, a connection with him must be ended for the following reasons:

1. 1. A man who allows himself extramarital affairs, a priori is unreliable. A girl who has fallen in love with a married woman needs to look objectively at the behavior of the object of passion and understand that a person who deceives his wife will do this to any woman.
2. 2. Communication with a not free man makes a girl humble herself - to meet her beloved only at a time convenient for him, to communicate secretly, to give up desire to spend holidays together, to understand that the beloved person is wholly owned by her legal spouse. Each woman is worthy of sincere and true love, and breaking the connection with her lover will increase the chances of meeting with a second half.
3. 3. The lover always shows the woman in love with him the best sides of his character, while he prefers to hide flaws. If a girl suddenly has to become the legal spouse of such a man, then she will find many unpleasant surprises in the form of his unacceptable habits in life, debts, obligations towards children.
4. 4. If a woman is not married, then the role of a lover should make her think about her situation. A similar fate is typical for girls who are afraid of a serious relationship or have low self-esteem. Breaking the connection with her lover and analyzing her behavior will allow finding the reason why the girl agrees to a secondary role in the life of her lover and working on her psychological problems.

The advice of psychologists is necessary for those women who are thinking about once and for all ending their relationship with a married lover. The behavior in this case depends not only on the reasons for such a decision, but also on the marital status of the woman.

How to survive a husband’s betrayal

  What to do if a lover left?

It happens that a man who has entered into an extramarital affair with a girl decides to abandon his mistress. For a woman, this event becomes a real shock, and she wants to forget the person who quit as soon as possible.   There are tips to help you break up with a not free man:

1. 1. First of all, an abandoned woman should not have a showdown. It must be understood that a relationship with a mistress does not imply any responsibility for her. Even if it’s very hard to accept what happened, you need to be proud and let go of your lover.
2. 2. The girl should quickly get rid of material evidence of the novel: correspondence, gifts and other reminders of failed love. It is recommended to refuse to visit places where romantic meetings with a lover took place in the past. If a lover liked certain clothes or accessories, it is better to forget about them for a while.
3. 3. A woman needs to objectively examine the personality of her lover and focus on his shortcomings, the main of which is a tendency to lie and betrayal.
4. 4. Parting with a not free man opens up new prospects for a happy relationship with a man who is not burdened by marriage. Awareness of this over time will help to stop regretting parting even with those to whom he is very drawn.
5. 5. A woman needs to become open to new acquaintances. This will help to understand that there are many worthy and, most importantly, free men around her.

The person with whom romantic relationships were connected cannot be ejected from the heart in a matter of days. A girl who had a relationship with a married man will need several months to get rid of destructive feelings and forget the hopeless connection.

  How to behave if a former lover is a colleague?

If it was an office romance, then forgetting the man you are working with is not so simple. In this case, many ladies decide to leave work, but not for everyone this option is acceptable. If a girl values \u200b\u200bher career in a company where her former lover works, then she will have to choose a special tactic of behavior that allows her to say goodbye to unnecessary feelings.

First of all, it is necessary to abandon the desire to demonstrate your resentment in the workplace. Showdown, hysterical behavior and rudeness towards the former will only warm up the employees' unnecessary interest in what is happening, which will negatively affect business reputation. If a girl and a married colleague were connected by a romantic relationship and they have to contact about work, all communication is devoted exclusively to solving business issues. In a conversation with a former lover, you can’t be rude, scoff, and in other ways demonstrate your resentment. Communication should be business and absolutely indifferent.

To stop thinking about a married colleague, it is recommended to concentrate on work, hobbies and new acquaintances. Gradually, dear to the heart, memories of the novel will go away forever, and the woman will be able to live a full life in which there is certainly a place for a promising relationship.