Case of life. A Brief History of Introvert

Of course, “be yourself” is a hackneyed phrase. But the main thing in this is to be prepared, Kane said.

Think in advance how you will present yourself in order to be remembered by the interlocutor. Make a list of questions that you can ask and those that you can easily maintain a conversation with.

As in any other relationship, balance is important in networking. Professionals say that it’s important not only to present yourself correctly, but also to listen carefully to the stories shared by others. It often turns out that you and your interlocutor have much more in common than you think.

“If you are genuinely interested in an interviewer, you are guaranteed success,” said Victor Drain, 27, product manager at Eze Software Group. Drain believes that his career owes much to the connections he acquired during his internships and previous work.

Better less, but better.

Many introverts do not want to open their mouths until they carefully think through everything in advance. Zack believes that this trait can help build deeper connections.

Instead of panicking at the thought that you have to meet 20 people, try to find an approach to a couple of those who may be most useful to you - and, of course, find out more about them.

Ask meaningful questions and listen to the answers. Zach advises:

“Instead of asking“ What are you doing? ”Ask,“ What is your favorite part of the job? ”

Use the traditional approach

Professionals advise introverts to come to meetings early. If you appear too late, all those gathered will already be divided into groups, and breaking into one of them can be difficult.

Kane, who happened to work with representatives of different generations, says that millennials are usually more difficult in personal meetings:

“Delicious gadgets in our pockets can be a great way to avoid talking to people if we don’t feel comfortable at the event.”

However, she is convinced: if you want to succeed, you will have to invest time and energy in face-to-face communication - no technology can replace a personal contact.

A dream job will not fall from the sky if you just sit at home and press buttons, even if you send out a hundred resumes a day. Just try talking to real people, Kane advises.

Bonus: Buy a drink to your partner

“So I don’t have to tell people how good I am,” Zack says. “They understand it themselves.”

• If you don’t have enough connections, attend current networking events.
• Have the person answer yes to the request for a short interview. Write personalized emails to potential contacts and mention some facts that you learned about them.
• Always remind yourself. The general rule is to write a letter within two days after the meeting. At the same time, you should avoid Mondays: people are overworked, and your letter may go unanswered.
• Keep in touch with classmates, classmates, and professors.
• If you do not have sufficient qualifications, networking will not help you much. Use maximum diligence in everything that you do.

Prepared by Taya Aryanova

On my first day of graduate school at Cornell University, I attended a lecture on microeconomics. Trying to calm the frightened first-year postgraduate students, the professor calmly explained that he would show a lot of diagrams - but let the audience not panic. “Just imagine that diagrams are flowcharts and everything will become clear to you,” he admonished. I, a graduate in the humanities, who have little knowledge of the economy, suddenly felt dizzy, everything faded before my eyes. I have never heard of flowcharts. This is the end.

Later, I found a suitable comparison to describe the experience of the first weeks at a business school: all this was like trying to learn Latin in Greek - but I also did not know Greek. I zealously outlined, but didn’t understand anything of what the teacher had been talking about about the dead and a half hours.

The born trapped in the same trap anti-networker, trying to follow all the rules of networking, designed completely not for him. Pointless occupation. These rules can safely be thrown into the trash if one existed in your head. The rules themselves are wonderful. Unless they are written in a foreign language. Here is a book about networking written in that language that is understood and understood by introverts - people are depressed by their inability to successfully interact. What a luck! Finally, you have a chance to pass the exam.

By the way, now I annually return to Cornell - I teach students of the MBA course networking skills. But I was not invited to listen again to lectures on economics.

Networking for those who hate him

If you have an aversion to any occupation, without which you can live peacefully, why don't you find yourself something else? Why plague yourself? And why, you ask, do you need this book at all? Isn’t it the same as giving a cheese omelette recipe to a person with intolerance to eggs and cheese? Or to a sufferer of terrible hay fever surround himself with fragrant flowers?

These are serious questions. Thank you for asking them.

Actually, I completely agree with you. Do not waste precious time on a business that you hate. However, you can’t get off so easily. You will not put this book back on the shelf (or close the electronic file), declaring yourself absolutely incapable of networking. Because…

Now I will demonstrate an amazing focus, turning networking into a pleasant and useful activity for you. No no! No hallucinogens. Sit back, turn the page, and start reading. You will not regret.

This guide begins with a thorough study of traditional concepts of networking, and ends with their complete debunking. This is what they are calling for:

More contacts \u003d higher chance of success.

Never dine alone.

Meet new people all the time.

Try to get out to people as often as possible.

Until this day, as far as I know, books about networking have been written for people of a certain warehouse - for those who are initially predisposed to this occupation and rejoice at the prospect of eating snacks at a noisy event full of strangers.

(Right now, I will prove to you that this temperament is characteristic of only 30-50 percent of the world's population.) I am sure that the authors make this mistake unintentionally, guided by the best intentions. And I just burn with anger at the thought of it. It turns out that the authors ignore the remaining 50–70 percent of humanity. They are misleading. Cheat. But the time has come to regain the rightful share of networking.

Getting started, you will understand the need to understand and strengthen your natural inclinations. No one else will force us to go against our own nature.

What are we worried about?

What? What are you talking about? You do not like networking and are not at all interested in them? Does he bore you? Not useful? You don’t have time for this? Do you need him? Is this false, self-serving, deceitful, superficial, insidious, manipulative and useless occupation?

Take a deep breath. Drink some water. And pull yourself together.

Introverts, constrained and unable to make contacts, fail in traditional networking, following tips not intended for them.

According to my experience, people who consider themselves haters of networking think they are not capable of it. In fact, you have everything to be a great networker, you just follow the wrong rules. Typical networking tips do not suit you, because you consider yourself a weakling in this area. You hate  this lesson.

Now, finally, with the help of this book, people like you and me will be able to master the networking method that does not contradict their true self.

What are we risking?

Only by what you most want to achieve in life. And nothing more.

Networking will allow you to realize your potential. Do you have a big goal? Perhaps you want to find a new job, get promoted, establish new professional or personal contacts, make this world a better place, gain credibility, sell goods or services, write a book, make a deal, strengthen cooperation, build a reputation, realize a dream or start your own business ...

Networking will lead you to the goal. For fifteen years of work in the field of consulting, I have not met a person who would not get the benefits of learning networking - in one form or another.

What is networking? This is the art of building and maintaining mutually beneficial acquaintances.

Real networking is communication.

The more naturally you behave, the more flexible and valuable dating networks you can create. You have the opportunity to study networking methods that do not contradict your nature, and use its advantages. A cute introvert, tired of trying to build relationships, you will learn how to interact, and not fight yourself. Your imaginary flaws will now become your strengths.

Well, what do you say?

ROI

Time is your most valuable asset (unless, of course, you are a billionaire). What can you say about the merits of this guide, which will steal several hours of your precious time - but you could spend it on many other interesting activities? So…

1. You will learn a new, ultra-efficient networking method described simply and easily.

2. Get a lot of practical advice, as well as take simple and logical steps, directly  applicable to your networking goals.

3. Benefit from reading and exploring many great examples from my many years of practice in various fields.

Take a pen or pencil, you will need them. Doing nothing will not work. Thank you for agreeing to keep me company.

Welcome to the world of networking

Start trusting yourself, and you will immediately understand how to live.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Current page: 1 (total of the book has 9 pages) [available passage for reading: 6 pages]

Devora Zack
Networking for Introverts

To my boys

Who would have expected an introvert to tell such deeply personal things about himself?

Communication, and communication again.

E.M. Forster 1
  E. M. Forster (1879–1970) is a famous English novelist and essayist. The film Howards End Estate, an adaptation of his novel of the same name, received three Academy Award and an IFF Cannes prize. Note ed.

, Howards End Estate

Latin is taught in Greek

On my first day of graduate school at Cornell University, I attended a lecture on microeconomics. Trying to calm the frightened first-year postgraduate students, the professor calmly explained that he would show a lot of diagrams - but let the audience not panic. “Just imagine that diagrams are flowcharts and everything will become clear to you,” he admonished. I, a graduate in the humanities, who have little knowledge of the economy, suddenly felt dizzy, everything faded before my eyes. I have never heard of flowcharts. This is the end.

Later, I found a suitable comparison to describe the experience of the first weeks at a business school: all this was like trying to learn Latin in Greek - but I also did not know Greek. I zealously outlined, but didn’t understand anything of what the teacher had been talking about about the dead and a half hours.

The born trapped in the same trap anti-networkertrying to follow all the rules of networking, designed completely not for him. Pointless occupation. These rules can safely be thrown into the trash if one existed in your head. The rules themselves are wonderful. Unless they are written in a foreign language. Here is a book about networking written in that language that is understood and understood by introverts - people are depressed by their inability to successfully interact. What a luck! Finally, you have a chance to pass the exam.

By the way, now I annually return to Cornell - I teach students of the MBA course networking skills. But I was not invited to listen again to lectures on economics.

Networking for those who hate him

If you have an aversion to any occupation, without which you can live peacefully, why don't you find yourself something else? Why plague yourself? And why, you ask, do you need this book at all? Isn’t it the same as giving a cheese omelette recipe to a person with intolerance to eggs and cheese? Or to a sufferer of terrible hay fever surround himself with fragrant flowers?

These are serious questions. Thank you for asking them.

Actually, I completely agree with you. Do not waste precious time on a business that you hate. However, you can’t get off so easily. You will not put this book back on the shelf (or close the electronic file), declaring yourself absolutely incapable of networking. Because…

Now I will demonstrate an amazing focus, turning networking into a pleasant and useful activity for you. No no! No hallucinogens. Sit back, turn the page, and start reading. You will not regret.

This guide begins with a thorough study of traditional concepts of networking, and ends with their complete debunking. This is what they are calling for:

More contacts \u003d higher chance of success.

Never dine alone.

Meet new people all the time.

Try to get out to people as often as possible.

Until this day, as far as I know, books about networking have been written for people of a certain warehouse - for those who are initially predisposed to this occupation and rejoice at the prospect of eating snacks at a noisy event full of strangers.

(Right now, I will prove to you that this temperament is characteristic of only 30-50 percent of the world's population.) I am sure that the authors make this mistake unintentionally, guided by the best intentions. And I just burn with anger at the thought of it. It turns out that the authors ignore the remaining 50–70 percent of humanity. They are misleading. Cheat. But the time has come to regain the rightful share of networking.

Getting started, you will understand the need to understand and strengthen your natural inclinations. No one else will force us to go against our own nature.

What are we worried about?

What? What are you talking about? You do not like networking and are not at all interested in them? Does he bore you? Not useful? You don’t have time for this? Do you need him? Is this false, self-serving, deceitful, superficial, insidious, manipulative and useless occupation?

Take a deep breath. Drink some water. And pull yourself together.

Introverts, constrained and unable to make contacts, fail in traditional networking, following tips not intended for them.

According to my experience, people who consider themselves haters of networking think they are not capable of it. In fact, you have everything to be a great networker, you just follow the wrong rules. Typical networking tips do not suit you, because you consider yourself a weakling in this area. You hatethis lesson.

Now, finally, with the help of this book, people like you and me will be able to master the networking method that does not contradict their true self.

What are we risking?

Only by what you most want to achieve in life. And nothing more.

Networking will allow you to realize your potential. Do you have a big goal? Perhaps you want to find a new job, get promoted, establish new professional or personal contacts, make this world a better place, gain credibility, sell goods or services, write a book, make a deal, strengthen cooperation, build a reputation, realize a dream or start your own business ...

Networking will lead you to the goal. For fifteen years of work in the field of consulting, I have not met a person who would not get the benefits of learning networking - in one form or another.

What is networking? This is the art of building and maintaining mutually beneficial acquaintances.

Real networking is communication.

The more naturally you behave, the more flexible and valuable dating networks you can create. You have the opportunity to study networking methods that do not contradict your nature, and use its advantages. A cute introvert, tired of trying to build relationships, you will learn how to interact, and not fight yourself. Your imaginary flaws will now become your strengths.

Well, what do you say?

ROI

Time is your most valuable asset (unless, of course, you are a billionaire). What can you say about the merits of this guide, which will steal several hours of your precious time - but you could spend it on many other interesting activities? So…

1. You will learn a new, ultra-efficient networking method described simply and easily.

2. Get a lot of practical advice, as well as take simple and logical steps, directlyapplicable to your networking goals.

3. Benefit from reading and exploring many great examples from my many years of practice in various fields.

Take a pen or pencil, you will need them. Doing nothing will not work. Thank you for agreeing to keep me company.

Chapter 1
Welcome to the world of networking

Start trusting yourself, and you will immediately understand how to live.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Some people are ready to swear that I am an extrovert.

This opinion brings me to a white heat. I stubbornly reject such accusations, but a flurry of convincing examples prove me wrong. “But you make a living from seminars, give presentations to huge groups ... One cannot fail to notice that you like it! Besides, you know how to communicate with strangers ... ”And so on and so forth.

Now we will discuss, refute and turn these misconceptions upside down.

We offer you a tutorial on networking for introverts who do not know how to make acquaintances.

Your author and guide

People who hate networking before stepping into uncharted territory should make sure that they fall into the hands of a professional. Does my qualification allow you to lead you in this difficult way?

To begin with, I note, despite the protests of well-wishers and skeptics: I am certainly an introvert. I am almost always sandwiched and determinedly unable to make friends. To have a good time in my understanding is to be alone. Before making contact with someone in real life, I have imaginary conversations. I need time to analyze certain offers before giving an answer, otherwise I risk incurring troubles. The thought of spending free time in an unfamiliar company makes me worry. The cacophony of external stimuli does not excite me, but frightens me: I easily and naturally notice non-verbal signals that are not noticed by others. I prefer a few close friends to a large crowd of friends.

All of the above features of my character do not correspond to my exceptional vigor, ability to speak in public and business success. The latter qualities cannot be attributed to the introvert. (By the way, I studied and taught the topic of introversion in great detail for fifteen years.)

I am a type A person 2
  In the 1960s, cardiologists from San Francisco Meyer Friedman and Ray Rosenman conditionally divided all people into two types: A and B. A type A man is in a hurry, he can’t easily stand in lines, he doesn’t like to be late, he hates traffic jams. A person of type B is unhurried, calm, prudent. Note ed.

And I'm constantly in a hurry. This also has nothing to do with introversion.

Now I will give a few examples of the traits that an untrained observer would find characteristic of extroverts, but upon closer examination, it turns out that they are very characteristic of introverts.

My favorite sport is running.

Even some “experts” argue that for certain reasons, introverts are less active than extroverts and slow. Pure nonsense! Doesn't a sport like running require privacy and exceptional concentration for a long time? The runner can be deep in thought. What a wonderful sport for an introvert!

I give two to three presentations a week.

Stop! These statistics turn most stereotypes about introverts upside down. Although I do not like to talk about myself, I consider it my duty to inform (on behalf of the introverts of the whole earth) clients that I am an introvert. These people have all the necessary qualities in order to be excellent speakers. They just prefer specific roles and feel more comfortable managing the discussion rather than participating in it. Many of them feel more at ease in front of a large audience than at socializing at a party.

I like networking.

This phrase contains the main idea of \u200b\u200bthe book. I must admit, it was not always like that. I invented some wonderful methods that turned the world of networking for me - otherwise would I talk about it? You too will comprehend the truth, thanks to which you will achieve excellent success and will enjoy this activity. You have the prospect of becoming a superstar in acquiring business ties.

Do you think this is impossible? I will prove the opposite to you.

A Brief History of Introvert

Many readers of this book are introverts. In the process of socialization, they realized that introversion is a problem, a flaw, a quality of a loser that needs to be hidden and overcome.

From a young age, introverts get the installation that they live in a world of extroverts. Go play with other kids. Join the game. Participation in class life is part of the educational process.Children who avoid society are labeled unsociable, rather than welcome their desire for independence.

Introversion is an innate feature of the psyche, and it manifests itself very early. As a child, I asked my parents to buy games for me to spend time on my own. Such a request can certainly lead some parents to take their child to a child psychologist. When I myself became a mother, I saw obvious signs of introversion in one of my sons when he was only three years old.

The big three

Introverts prone to reflection, attentive and confident.These qualities determine the following key differences between introverts and extroverts.

Take your time to consider these three characteristics. (thoughtfully)deep ( intently), lonely (self-confidence).I'll wait.

Regardless of your temperament, using your strengths in methods developed especially for you, you will feel in networking like a fish in water. Introverts, extroverts and centrels(definition ahead!) will benefit from this guide.

Did I talk about my psychic abilities? I feel: you are already curious what will come of all this. Right now…

Chapter 2
Check yourself

Perceiving the world through the prism of our sensations, we do not see it as it really is.

Anais Nin 3
  Anais Nin (full name - Angela Anais Juan Antolin Rosa Edelmira Nin-i-Kulmel, 1903-1977) - American and French writer, known for her erotic novels and diary, which she kept for more than 60 years. Note ed.

Changeling. Blitz survey

The answers

1. In order not to miss a call.

2. In order not to answer the call.

When performing the same actions, introverts and extroverts are guided by different motives. Therefore, when studying their behavior, in addition to external signs, this factor should be taken into account.

Often I heard that observation reveals evidencecertain motives of human behavior. This is not true. The conclusions that are made in this case reflect only the observer's attitudes. Fundamentallyactions are intentions.

CASE OF LIFE

Breakfast in company or alone

Once, during a seminar for top management, I explained to the participants that introverts, as a rule, prefer to have breakfast in the company of newspapers rather than colleagues. The extrovert Robert puzzled me with the question: “Why, then, did David (introvert) keep me company at breakfast this morning?”

I asked David to explain. He smiled and said: “I thought: it’s so necessary ... Although I really didn’t want to sit with anyone - Robert, do not be offended! “But since I'm here for networking, I decided it was better to sit next to you.” The group met its sincere recognition with an explosion of laughter.

“So,” I continued, “why is the extrovert sitting next to the person whom he met the day before?” The extroverts threw up their hands and, interrupting each other, shouted: “We just like to communicate with people! Who wants to dine alone? ”

Plastic

Everyone knows that in order to maintain good fitness you need to constantly train: physical flexibility requires elastic muscles. Mental implies an adequate response to the behavior of people around and also needs constant development. A trained psyche makes it possible to quickly adapt to changing conditions.

Our neurologists gave this name to this phenomenon. mental elasticity.The term describes the ability to respond flexibly to various situations. And it turns out that this quality can be developed. Trying to look at a known situation differently is what elasticity is.

Any creative process that trains mental abilities, such as solving a crossword puzzle, contributes to the formation of a healthy, flexible consciousness. Elasticity keeps the brain in great shape and prepares it for quick and non-trivial reactions to complex tasks.

Identification of their own characteristics through testing also increases mental elasticity. Realizing your inclinations, you will more effectively develop all aspects of the personality. Self-knowledge allows you to better understand other people and accept them. And the ability to recognize differences is no less important than the ability to find common.

Do not compare your inner reactions with other people's behavior.

Negative judgments are always the result of an erroneous comparison: you cannot rely on your inner world, criticizing the actions of others. My need to work without being distracted may conflict with your need to chat a bit to distract from work. Understanding the different styles of behavior will warn you against critical and incorrect judgments.

Temperament assessment

In each paragraph, two statements are proposed. Based on your own inclinations, you should distribute 3 points between a pair of statements. You can assign 1, 2 or 3 points - you cannot give half a point. If you are closer to statement A, give him 3 points, and B gets 0; if you agree a little with A, but more with B, then you assign 1 point to A and 2 points to B. Be guided by your own opinion, and not by what you think is “right.”

31-36 - pronounced dominant style of behavior; 25-30 - pronounced dominant style of behavior;

19-24 - weakly expressed dominant style of behavior.

Well, did you manage?

There are no good or bad results in this test. It is impossible to fail!

The power of preference

Let's start with a short lecture on personality type assessment. Everyone knows that personality types are much more than two. That is, not all people are necessarily related to either extroverts or introverts. Although the scale of introversion and extraversion (I / E) is an important component for determining the style of interpersonal interaction, there are many additional parameters by which a person can be attributed to one or another type. In addition, as this test revealed, it is precisely the tendencies that influence the identification of oneself with the basic characteristics of each type.

People who scored 25 or more points on an extraversion scale are typical representatives of this group or, using the boring terminology of psychologists, this pronounced extraverts.They find most of the characteristics of this type.

The same applies to those with 25–36 points on the introversion scale.

Those who scored on any of the scales 19-24 points, I call center-wizards.As for respondents with indicators of 19–20 points, these people can re-test the next day and get opposite results. Eighteen points on each scale - exactly in the middle - indicate the absence of pronounced features of extroversion or introversion and also allow you to classify a person as a centrovert. This happens quite often and should not be disturbing. Each has traits of one type or another - it all depends on the severity of quality.

Test response

Individual reactions to the results of the questionnaire can take the following forms:

2. I'm in the middle ... is this normal?

3. I knew that nothing would work.

Let's discuss each reaction in detail.

1. "It's me!"- a typical reaction in cases where the test results confirm expectations or self-perception. People with pronounced traits of introversion or extraversion usually fall into this category. The more a person identifies himself with one of the poles of the scale, the more he associates himself with descriptions of a given style of behavior.

2. "I'm in the middle ... is that normal?"- such a reaction is demonstrated by people with a weakly expressed style of behavior, who have scored average points and are located in the center of the I / E scale. These respondents usually doubt the results: “So, I am neither fish nor meat?” On the contrary. Those who have gained the average value are much easier to live in comparison with pronounced introverts or extroverts. Anyone can learn to build relationships with representatives of another group, but center-wizards can do this the easiest. Other factors - introspection, constant self-esteem and extensive communication experience - also greatly facilitate relations with people of different temperaments.

3. “I knew that nothing would work.”Sometimes the result contradicts the respondent’s self-perception, calling into question the reliability of the test. The respondent says: “I am sure that I am an extrovert, but the results show that I am a pronounced introvert!” If you have a similar story, remember what you thought about during the test. Did you answer based on your inner feelings or on your usual behavior in a similar situation? Forced yourself to respond more flexibly than you wanted?

If in doubt, answer the test questions again, but consider your personal preferences rather than the learned patterns of behavior. Be guided by your natural internal reactions, not thoughts of what is right. A mistake can result from a misunderstanding of extraversion or introversion.

Warning: extreme manifestations

Some people show more introversion traits than others. The same goes for extroverts.

This book mainly features introverts and extroverts with pronounced inclinations, because the differences are most easily studied with such examples. We will also talk a little about people who have found in themselves certain qualities of each camp. This guide will be very useful and valuable for Centroverts.

When reading, do not forget about the test results. The higher the result, which indicates belonging to one end or another of the scale, the more significant is the example. Readers with poorly expressed qualities can also associate themselves with one or another type, making a discount on features expressed to a greater or lesser extent.

Interconnectedness

Quantum physicists have discovered an amazing phenomenon that can be said to be directly related to networking. An amazing deal! The experiment was repeated many times and confirmed the reliability of the results.

Attention: sensation! When two subatomic physically bound particles are separated, no matter what affects one of them, the other reacts immediately, even if it is hundreds of kilometers away. This effect is called interconnectedness. If once a bond has been established, further particles maintain a relationship without physical contact.

Since people are made up of atomic particles, it is logical to assume that the same law applies in human relations. Let's draw an analogy between this scientific discovery and contacts in business and networking.

Identifying common ground with other people is a necessary component of successful networking. Finding similarities strengthens our willingness to maintain relationships. The ability of introverts to think deeply and ask the right questions gives them an advantage in creating truly close relationships. Deeper communication takes relationships to a whole new level.

Constant work with a narrow business circle gives more noticeable results than a mountain of useless business cards in a portfolio. Introverts also make acquaintances. Not with everyone and not constantly, because they are attracted only by long-term relationships.

Having formed the right attitude, focusing on your own advantages and making a little effort, you will become an excellent networker and at the same time remain in harmony with your true nature. It is very comfortable.

For my part, it would be wrong not to mention that the interaction requires a little more effort than when you simply support the wall, hoping in this way to express yourself.

The higher the risk, the greater the return.

In the next chapter, I will gladly destroy obsolete standards and stupid stereotypes.

After analyzing the traditional methods of networking, the author of the book came to the conclusion that they were written for extroverts. But what about the rest of the people - those who hate noisy parties, self-promotion and praise, and prefer to spend most of their time alone? Do they really need useful contacts and business contacts? Not at all. The author introduces new rules - the rules of networking for introverts - thereby turning this art into a useful and enjoyable activity. The book contains many valuable tips and recommendations applicable to the goals of networking, taking into account the characteristics of the nature of introverts, and instructive examples from the author’s many years of experience make the book a truly fascinating read that introverts love so much.

On my first day of graduate school at Cornell University, I attended a lecture on microeconomics. Trying to calm the frightened first-year postgraduate students, the professor calmly explained that he would show a lot of diagrams - but let the audience not panic. “Just imagine that diagrams are flowcharts and everything will become clear to you,” he admonished. I, a graduate in the humanities, who have little knowledge of the economy, suddenly felt dizzy, everything faded before my eyes. I have never heard of flowcharts. This is the end.

Later, I found a suitable comparison to describe the experience of the first weeks at a business school: all this was like trying to learn Latin in Greek - but I also did not know Greek. I zealously outlined, but didn’t understand anything of what the teacher had been talking about about the dead and a half hours.

The born trapped in the same trap

anti-networker

trying to follow all the rules of networking, designed completely not for him. Pointless occupation. These rules can safely be thrown into the trash if one existed in your head. The rules themselves are wonderful. Unless they are written in a foreign language. Here is a book about networking written in that language that is understood and understood by introverts - people are depressed by their inability to successfully interact. What a luck! Finally, you have a chance to pass the exam.

By the way, now I annually return to Cornell - I teach students of the MBA course networking skills. But I was not invited to listen again to lectures on economics.

Chapter 1

Welcome to the world of networking

Some people are ready to swear that I am an extrovert.

This opinion brings me to a white heat. I stubbornly reject such accusations, but a flurry of convincing examples prove me wrong. “But you make a living from seminars, give presentations to huge groups ... One cannot fail to notice that you like it! Besides, you know how to communicate with strangers ... ”And so on and so forth.

by definition

can't be a good speaker or networker.

Now we will discuss, refute and turn these misconceptions upside down.

Devora Zach Networking for Introverts

To my boys

Who would have expected an introvert to tell such deeply personal things about himself?

Communication, and communication again.

М.. M. Forster, “Howards End Estate” Latin is taught in Greek

On my first day of graduate school at Cornell University, I attended a lecture on microeconomics. Trying to calm the frightened first-year postgraduate students, the professor calmly explained that he would show a lot of diagrams - but let the audience not panic. “Just imagine that diagrams are flowcharts and everything will become clear to you,” he admonished. I, a graduate in the humanities, who have little knowledge of the economy, suddenly felt dizzy, everything faded before my eyes. I have never heard of flowcharts. This is the end.

Later, I found a suitable comparison to describe the experience of the first weeks at a business school: all this was like trying to learn Latin in Greek - but I also did not know Greek. I zealously outlined, but didn’t understand anything of what the teacher had been talking about about the dead and a half hours.

A born antinetorker falls into the same trap, trying to follow all the rules of networking, which are not intended for him at all. Pointless occupation. These rules can safely be thrown into the trash if one existed in your head. The rules themselves are wonderful. Unless they are written in a foreign language. Here is a book about networking written in that language that is understood and understood by introverts - people are depressed by their inability to successfully interact. What a luck! Finally, you have a chance to pass the exam.

By the way, now I annually return to Cornell - I teach students of the MBA course networking skills. But I was not invited to listen again to lectures on economics.

Networking for those who hate him

If you have an aversion to any occupation, without which you can live peacefully, why don't you find yourself something else? Why plague yourself? And why, you ask, do you need this book at all? Isn’t it the same as giving a cheese omelette recipe to a person with intolerance to eggs and cheese? Or to a sufferer of terrible hay fever surround himself with fragrant flowers?

These are serious questions. Thank you for asking them.

Actually, I completely agree with you. Do not waste precious time on a business that you hate. However, you can’t get off so easily. You will not put this book back on the shelf (or close the electronic file), declaring yourself absolutely incapable of networking. Because…

Now I will demonstrate an amazing focus, turning networking into a pleasant and useful activity for you. No no! No hallucinogens. Sit back, turn the page, and start reading. You will not regret.

This guide begins with a thorough study of traditional concepts of networking, and ends with their complete debunking. This is what they are calling for:

More contacts \u003d higher chance of success.

Never dine alone.

Meet new people all the time.

Try to get out to people as often as possible.

Until this day, as far as I know, books about networking have been written for people of a certain warehouse - for those who are initially predisposed to this occupation and rejoice at the prospect of eating snacks at a noisy event full of strangers.

(Right now, I will prove to you that this temperament is characteristic of only 30-50 percent of the world's population.) I am sure that the authors make this mistake unintentionally, guided by the best intentions. And I just burn with anger at the thought of it. It turns out that the authors ignore the remaining 50–70 percent of humanity. They are misleading. Cheat. But the time has come to regain the rightful share of networking.

Getting started, you will understand the need to understand and strengthen your natural inclinations. No one else will force us to go against our own nature.

What are we worried about?

What? What are you talking about? You do not like networking and are not at all interested in them? Does he bore you? Not useful? You don’t have time for this? Do you need him? Is this false, self-serving, deceitful, superficial, insidious, manipulative and useless occupation?

Take a deep breath. Drink some water. And pull yourself together.

Introverts, constrained and unable to make contacts, fail in traditional networking, following tips not intended for them.